Great Minds Think Alike

Hat Tip: BabbaZee

Thousands Gather To Protest Global Warming

Hat Tip: American Infidel

'Cold' Is A Relative Thing

A little Michigan humor....

At 65 degrees above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door-to-door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.

Obama-Inspired Gift Suggestion

EXPOSED: How The 'Party Crashers' REALLY Got In

I wish I could credit the creator of this piece, but no one seems to know who's responsible for it. If it's you, please tell me; I always give proper attribution when available.

God's A Funny Guy.....

What do I mean by 'God's a funny guy'? I mean He uses humor, irony and otherwise ordinary circumstances to open our eyes and give us not just 'teachable moments' but the occasional rebuke. Case in point:

I just returned from a short vacation to Las Vegas - one that included a plethora of little screw-ups, inconveniences and disappointments. Minor problems all, but annoying and frustrating nonetheless.

My friends and I stayed at a five-diamond resort in the lap of luxury and opulence. We had fine food and wine, gambled a little, shopped a lot and had fun despite the 'issues'. Yesterday, as we traveled to the airport in a Lincoln Navigator stretch limousine, we discussed what we didn't like about the resort and why we wouldn't stay there again. 'I didn't get the bed I requested.' 'The doorman didn't even help with the luggage!' Stuff like that. Then I had my first 'God's a funny guy' moment of the day...

As the limo driver unloaded our mountain of luggage, a pickup truck pulled up to the curb in front of us and a young couple got out. He was dressed in full desert camo and put an enormous pack on his back that looked like it must have weighed 200 pounds. They embraced and kissed for a few minutes before he turned and walked away. She cried. He cried. I cried. Then I thought, 'Will there be a doorman to help with the luggage where this soldier is going?' Of course not. I am free to ride around in fancy limos and whine about hotel doormen because brave young men like this one are at war for me.

Talk about God slapping you upside your head!

Later, as I sat on the small plane that would take me from Detroit to Flint, I commented to my friends that it was odd the seat next to me was vacant.  Just minutes before, the airline had asked for someone to take a voluntary bump due to the flight being over-sold by one passenger. At the last possible minute, a handsome young man rushed down the aisle, stuffed his things in the overhead and sat down next to me. He told me how happy he was that he had made the flight so he didn't have to rent a car and drive home.

I asked if he had a long trip. 'Yes.', he said, 'I've been in Saudi Arabia for a year.' 'Are you military?', I asked. 'Yes.'

I shook his hand and said 'Thank you for what you're doing for me. I appreciate it.' It seemed to surprise him a little, so I told him I don't think our troops hear that enough. He agreed. (They don't.... so thank a soldier every chance you get!) The conversation then went something like this:

'Are you home for a while now?'
'Until after Christmas. Then I'm headed to Germany.'
'Well, Germany isn't home, but it's a lot better than Saudi Arabia.'
'That's for sure.'
'Germany has nice people and good beer.'
'Yeah! I was stationed there for a while before.'
'I've been to Germany. I liked it a lot. Never been to Saudi Arabia, though.'
'You wouldn't like Saudi Arabia. Worst country in the Middle East for women.'
'Yeah, I don't want to wear a Hefty bag.'
'Ha!'

After takeoff, he started to doze, so I shut up and started thinking about my second 'God's a funny guy' moment of the day. This fine young soldier spent a year in Saudi Arabia - where women are chattel - so I can have the freedom to travel across the country with four girlfriends to enjoy the luxuries of one of the world's most extravagant cities. That really puts things in perspective!

God is indeed a funny guy... and I'm listening, Lord.

The Government Can

Tim Hawkins, 'The Government Can'

Mmm Mmm Mmm. Barack Hussein... Rockwell?

In 1960, famous illustrator/artist Norman Rockwell produced one of his most iconic works, the Triple Self-Portrait seen below.

Now, in 2009, I Own The World is pleased to present this updated version featuring President Barack Obama...

Find this and many other great parodies at: www.iowntheworld.com

Trick or Treat?

BREAKING NEWS: We have just learned that a devilish Halloween 'trick' resulted in the spreading of mass confusion and misinformation yesterday.

It seems someone in Norway wanted to have a little fun at our expense. Well, we certainly fell for it! How embarrassing.

Now, as a public service, I would like to clarify that President Obama was actually awarded the 'No Balls Piece Pries'. He will be receiving a collection of DVDs, formatted to work only in European players, containing 1.4 million suggested ways to placate and appease one's enemies.

Doesn't that make a lot more sense?

Top 10 Reasons Chicago Didn't Get The Olympics

Fr. Scott Kingsbury is a Twitter pal and all around nice guy with a wicked-good sense of humor. This is his 'Top 10' take on the failure of Chicago's bid for the 2016 Olympic games:

10.  Dead people can't vote at IOC meetings.

  9.  Obama was distracted by the 25 min. meeting with Gen. McChrystal.

  8. Who cares if Obama couldn't talk the IOC into Chicago? He'll be able to talk Iran out of nukes.

  7.  The impediment is Israel still building settlements.

  6.  Obviously no president would have been able to accomplish it.

  5.  We've been quite clear and said all along that we didn't want the Olympics.

  4.  This isn't about the number of Olympics "lost", it's about the number of Olympics "saved" or "created".

  3.  Clearly there are not enough wise Latina judges on the committee.

  2.  Because the IOC is racist.

And....finally...

  1.  It's George Bush's fault.

Fr. Kingsbury is the Vicar of St. Barnabas The Apostle Anglican Church in California.

Obama Criticism: Are YOU A Racist?

Hat Tip: No Blood For Sauerkraut

Friday Funnies

Henry Payne

I Pledge, Done Right

Congratulations to the smart, conservative women at Go Right Girl for this parody of the stupid, liberal celebrity 'I Pledge' video. This is a pledge I will take, too.

Detroit Lions. Joke. Redundant.

NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions

'Dry Bones' On Middle East Peace

Dry Bones Blog.com

Hat Tip: Ma Sands

Spotting The Symptoms Of Swine Flu

The media has been fostering a lot of hype and hysteria over the H1N1, or Swine Flu, virus recently. In an attempt to calm your fear and bring you the latest and best information, I have located the following visual image of an infected person. If you wake up looking like this, please stay home from work!

Friday Funnies

Henry Payne

Henry & Rush On Health Care Reform

Henry Payne

This summarizes it all rather well:

Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it and whose members will be exempt from it, signed by a president who is a closet smoker, funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, forced on people who don't want it and financed by a country that is nearly broke. What could possibly go wrong?

Rush Limbaugh

A New Caduceus For Obamacare

From our friends at Right Mind

Massachusetts & Oregon: Government-Run Health Care Run Amok

The Independence Institute has produced these two short, funny videos to explain some of the inherent problems with government-run health care systems. They didn't have far to look; we have shining examples of failure on both coasts.