Tuesday, December 29, 2009
'Cold' Is A Relative Thing
At 65 degrees above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door-to-door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.